Prove Yourself Wrong

I’d like to talk to you about a dirty word today.  It’s four-letters long, begins with C and ends in NT, and has a vowel in between.  That word, of course, is “Can’t!”

How many times do you say that stupid, little word every day?  How many times do you stop yourself from doing something just because you “can’t?”

It’s a cliché to say “‘can’t’ really just means ‘won’t'” when we hear someone else say they can’t do something (especially when it’s something we want them to do) but how many times do you actually apply the same logic to your own life?

…And it takes a lot for me to say that because I really hate that cliché!

I’ll be the first to admit, sometimes “can’t” really means “can’t.”  For instance, I can’t breathe underwater.  I can’t levitate.  I can’t watch Armageddon without crying.  Those are simply incontrovertible facts. (Especially the last one)  But how many of the can’ts in your life are real and how many are self-imposed.

It’s not so much that can’t means won’t –  that would be too easy.  The majority of the time, when people say they can’t do something, it really means they don’t know if they can do something, but they’re not willing to put the time to find out.

It’s a small but important difference, it’s not just that they won’t do something – that’s just laziness – it’s that they refuse to even consider it.  That’s ego.

These ego-driven impediments are one of the primary reasons that so few people actually get stuff done.  People reach a point where they can either challenge their own self-belief or just lie back and take whatever life throws at them.

You’d be surprised how many times I’ve heard people say thing like:

I can’t ask for a raise.

I can’t start my own business.

I can’t ask that girl/guy out.

I can’t get a job in the field I want.

I can’t make cold calls.

I can’t do any better than I’m doing now.

To all of those and more, I simply ask “WHY NOT?!”  It’d the very question I want you to ask yourself, every time you find yourself saying “can’t.”  Is your limit something real or is it self-imposed?

If you find yourself coming up against physical limitations or laws of physics when asking “why not,” then you probably can’t do whatever it is you want to do.  However, if you find yourself trying to rationalize your choice not to try, then ditch the C-word and start thinking of ways that you can.

Take what you accept as truth, and prove it wrong!

Let’s look at how you might re-approach the ideas from above, if you were truly looking to change your life (instead of just saying you were):

I can’t ask for a raise.
-You can so long as you can show that your value far exceeds your paycheck’s worth.

I can’t start my own business.
-You can, if you take small, measured steps and get started

I can’t ask that girl/guy out.
-You can…but he/she might still say no.

I can’t get a job in the field I want.
-Have you even talked to anyone in the field?  Networked? Gone to any interviews?  Interned?  Then how do you know?

I can’t make cold calls.
-How many times have you tried?  Quit crying about it and pick up the phone!

I can’t do any better than I’m doing now.
-If that’s how you think, you never will.

These examples are the exact sort of thing I’ll be covering over the coming weeks and months, showing how you can actually do all of these things and more.  I want to break down your impediments, and make you question what’s holding you back.

So, that’s what I want you to do, take something you feel you can’t do, and aim to prove yourself wrong in the next week.  It can be anything from “I can’t learn a new language” to “I can’t start my own business.

Feel free to share some of your self-imposed impediments below, especially if you think you have one that truly can’t be overcome.  I’d be interested to see what makes you guys tick, and what holds you back.

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